Other Wishes and Dreams for the Gilmore Girls Revival

Gilmore-Girls

Let the heavens rejoice – providence has intervened and all is right with the world.  In an announcement last week, Melissa McCarthy confirmed that Sookie will appear in the Gilmore Girls revival after all!  It wouldn’t have been the same without the third leg of the show’s neurotic triangle (although maybe that’s Emily? Or Luke? Or Taylor?).  In any case, we can’t wait to see what crazy kitchen hijinks Sookie is up to these days.

Netflix have also confirmed that the four-part series will be released “later this year”, with creator Amy Sherman Palladino stating her preference that all four not be released at once.

On those two happy notes, here are some other events we’re hoping to see in the revival:

1. Rory and Lorelai well-adjusted and happy
Luke and Lorelai cohabiting with their twins, Leopold and Loeb, while Rory is out in the world doing golden child things—and also being single, because we need the drama.  If we could get a glimpse of the satanic altar they pray to every night to stay so young and beautiful (and desirable to all men within a hundred-mile radius) that would explain a lot…

2. Luke is a secret millionaire
Because he’d hate it and so would Lorelai.  He’s had the same car for decades and only owns two caps (Lorelai blue, and not-with-Lorelai black).  Every person in town is in his diner daily, so you know he’s sitting on piles of cash.  By the time the reunion rolls around, he’ll definitely own the half of town not already owned by Taylor.

3. PARIS
Doing anything that could be considered “running the world.”

4. A buddy Dean and Taylor
Dean takes over Doose’s market after Taylor breaks both legs in the course of some wacky Star’s Hollow improvement scheme (installing town-approved rain gutters? Putting up decorations for the Star’s Hollow Square Dance Festival?).  Slowly but surely, Taylor will make Dean over in his image…

5. Another dance marathon
Kirk becomes Town Selectman and is thereby prevented from defending his dance marathon title, clearing the way for Lorelai to finally triumph.  It’s fifty-fifty whether she’ll be able to convince Rory or Luke to be her partner.

6. The Family Van Gerbig
Lane and Zack have passed their musical talent on to their twin sons, and have formed a family band like a punk rock version of the Von Trapps.  They are super famous, but still down to earth because: Mrs. Kim.

7. Sookie and Jackson’s mystery child
It’s a girl!  So Sookie can get back at Jackson for not getting the vasectomy by naming her something normal, NOT Colgate. The entire brood regularly spends Friday evenings singing to various fruit and vegetable crops.

8. Beau Bellville
It doesn’t matter what flimsy excuse Amy Sherman-Palladino uses to bring back Jackson’s older brother Beau, but Nick Offerman NEEDS to make an appearance (never forget Rune told him Lorelai was a nymphomaniac).

9. Much Ado About Christopher
He doesn’t have to be dead, but he should be living in Paris with Sherry and Gigi.  He only appears as Rory’s proud Dad when she inevitably receives a young journalist of the year award, or, you know, a Pulitzer.  His visit is uneventful and he promptly flies back home.

10. Fixing Season 7
Seriously, could Season 7 be written off as a town-wide, gas-leak-induced fever dream that never actually happened?  (Unfortunately, A S-P has already denied us this one…)

11. Emily
In widowhood, she’s become a late-in-life lesbian.

12. Jess action*
Oh, Jess.  The book-loving bad boy who just couldn’t get himself together enough to deserve Rory.  He doesn’t have to be her forever man (although he is), but he IS a published author and he DID straighten Rory out when she was going off the rails, so a little bit of romance is not out of line! Just saying.

13. Star’s Hollow townspeople are still fabulous
Miss Patty’s memoir I’m So Glad I Had All That Sex is a bestseller and she’s planning to cast Sofia Vergara as herself in the Broadway show. Babette and Morey have opened a cat-funeral service and are in high demand as the feline population of Star’s Hollow ages.  Michel is convinced gluten is poison.  Andrew’s bookstore is hanging in there, despite dual pressures of Amazon and e-readers. Kirk and Lulu have thankfully not yet procreated.  And that hussy, Eastside Tilly, continues to have the gossip before anyone else.

 

* Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are Emily’s alone.  Elle’s strong (and incorrect) conviction that Logan was the best of Rory’s boyfriends is hereby noted.