The “How to Be Single” Movie Doesn’t Get Being Single

How to be Single

Seriously, I demand to know who picked the title How to be Single for this film. While I laughed out loud at Rebel Wilson’s jokes, and I admittedly like Dakota Johnson even though she was in 50 Shades of Grey, the movie wasn’t really about being single. It was about trying not to be single. And what fun is that? So I present to you instead, for your pleasure, my guide to actually being single and not trying to find a guy to hook up with or marry:

Figure out which kind of wine you actually like.

When you’re not eating with anyone else or trying to impress them with your favorite type of wine or an expensive bottle that someone else told you was good, you can find out which wines you actually like the taste of. Or you can drink whatever is cheap because there’s no one to judge you. Once you find out which wine you like best, feel free to drink it Amy Schumer style. It’s your right.

how to be single

Find a workout that doesn’t make you hate physical activity.

In How to Be Single, Dakota Johnson’s character Alice has always wanted to hike the Grand Canyon at sunrise on New Year’s Day. If hiking sounds like a great way to stay healthy to you, go for it. But don’t let anyone drag you up a mountain you don’t want to be dragged up. If you’re an indoor exerciser, assert your right to stay indoors. Yoga is also awesome. Or a barre workout if you’re like me and you’ve always wanted to pretend to be a ballerina. The point is, exercise should be something you enjoy doing to stay healthy. Not something you force yourself to do because you believe you should look a certain way.

how to be single

Find your girl squad.

Alice finds Rebel Wilson, and they form a bit of an unlikely friendship around partying and guys. I like that they become friends because Alice, who’s been in a relationship forever, really needs a friend. But one of the failings of the film is that it doesn’t give much of a reason for their friendship other than convenience and later, the passage of time. These aren’t lasting friendships, as everyone who has gone to college finds out. Convenience friends aren’t life-long. So find your life-long friends. The ones who love the same crappy movies you love and talk about things you’re interested in. The ones who will slap The Fault in Our Stars out of your hands when you try to re-read it because it’s a terrible idea. The ones you can travel with and not want to pull out your own hair. These are the people who will see you through.

how to be single

Treat yo self. 

Buy yourself what you actually want. We’ve all gotten disappointing presents from other people, but you’ll never get a disappointing present from yourself. Work hard, and when you’ve worked hard, buy yourself something that makes you feel good about the hard work you’ve done. In How to Be Single, Alice treats herself to a cute apartment with a book nook.

how to be single

Go to the movies by yourself.

Seeing a movie by yourself is great because you can love it or hate it, and not have to reconcile your feelings with anyone else’s at the end. You also don’t need to clear the movie choice with anyone else so you can see whatever you want. Plus, you don’t have to share your popcorn.

how to be single

Eat at a restaurant alone.

Eating by yourself is a learning experience, but you’ll find out that you’re really great company. Resist the urge to pull out your phone. It’s awkward at first because we’re so used to sharing tables with other people and chattering away, but you’ll find after a while that you don’t mind the silence. There are so few quiet moments these days, enjoy the ones you get.

how to be single

 

But this is just my list. I encourage you to write your own. You hear so much about the importance of loving yourself first, and don’t get me wrong, loving yourself is the most important thing. But it’s not a stop on the train to true love. This isn’t about readying yourself for someone else, it’s about living your life and not waiting for someone else to make it worthwhile. Because being single isn’t an excuse not to do things just like being in a relationship isn’t. It isn’t a means to an end. There isn’t your single life and then a life you will have once you fall in love with someone. So do whatever you feel like doing, and don’t waste any time.

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